In recent months, I have come to believe that Hollywood is a sleazy slimy place and perhaps not the best place for me or anyone else to express their creativity.

Giving up on making it big has given me the freedom to say certain things that I wouldn’t have said before. “Heaven forbid an agent I’d sent my script to should read my blog or something. Then I’d ruin all my chances of making it big.”

SinceI am no longer looking for a big Hollywood producer to come along and produce me, it’s freed me up. Now, I can speak openly and to do some volunteer work like the volunteer work I’m about to do right now.

This weekend, I watched a Hugh Grant movie, and it reminded me of Hugh Grant’s dilemma. I’ve been meaning to help him with this for years.

“Hello Hugh Grant. A few sentences from now I’m going to set you free.”

Since this blog is intended only for Hugh Grant, I will provide only a bare minimum of explanation. If Hugh decides to google himself, and lands on this page, he will know exactly what I’m talking about. I’ll just present the facts:

In 1995, Hugh Grant was arrested with a prostitute named Divine Brown.

Following this, Hugh made two movies back-to-back, “About a boy” in 2002 and “Love actually” in 2003. To the untrained eye, these were two completely different movies. To a more observant eye, both movies had two things in common.

1. Hugh also served as producer.
2. A storyline with a little white boy interested in a Black girl. The next thing I heard about Hugh Grant was that he was dating a nice white lady. I didn’t care much until I heard what her name was; Jemimah.

The next thing I heard about Hugh Grant was that he was dating a nice white lady. I didn’t care much until I heard what her name was; Jemimah.

I only know one other person named Jemimah in the whole world.

You know her too; Aunt Jemimah of Aunt Jemimah’s pancakes.

Around this time, I knew it was time for an intervention. Had I been moving in Hugh Grant’s personal circles, I would have sat him down with perhaps one other person, Robert DeNiro. He’s been free for nearly 40 years. Then, we would have just said to him, “Hugh, it’s OK. It’s OK. You can’t just deal with this by dating white women named Jemimah.”

The relationship with Jemimah ended in 2007, as it had to, because you can’t really build a solid relationship on a repressed pancake fantasy.

I didn’t have a chance to speak to him when the relationship with Jemimah ended. But today, I say to you Hugh, my soul brother, “Let freedom ring! Let freedom ring! From the cottages of Notting Hill down to the secret drawer where you hide your copy of Ebony Magazine. Let freedom ring!”

I am just bringing this up because this weekend, I saw a bit of your lovely film, “About a boy.”

It reminded me of your situation. I want to help. At this rate, you’ll eventually explode or end up marrying Kate Moss. Marrying Kate is fine, but she will wonder why you want to name the children Jamal, Imani and Lashonda.

Hugh. It’s OK. It’s OK.

This article was originally published on October 19, 2010.