I went ahead and figured out the whole evolution debate for anyone who is interested. I solved it while examining a toilet paper roll.

Yes, Toilet Paper.

Now according to Evolutionists, the earth is around 4.5 billion years old and humans have been around for around 200,000 years.

According to Christians, the earth is around 6000 years old and humans have been around since day one. I decided to side with neither Christians nor evolutionists.

In the end, I sided with toilet paper.

Depending on who you talk to, Toilet paper was invented in 1857 when Joseph Gayette invented the fluffy version we know today or as early as 589 AD when the Chinese first started using regular paper for the task.

2010 minus 589 = 1421 years to the Chinese

2010 minus 1421 = 1153 years to Mr. Gayette.

Fine.

We'll just round it off and call it 1000 years. Do I truly have to believe that it took Humans 199,000 years to think, "There must be a better way to wipe my arse?"

Really?

Seriously?

I just can't wrap my mind, or my roll around it.

After 199,000 years, someone said, "Man, I don't want to use these twigs and leaves anymore. There must be a better way."

Really?

I suppose that's possible if we were apes up until very recently and only recently became humans. However, according to my scientific sources, humans have been what we would call humans for about 200,000 years. The ape business happened before that, starting about 3.6 million years ago.

Really?

Seriously?

Humans who put up twigs and leaves for 199,000 years would be very impressed with the iPod.

The reality of the matter is that what we have to show for it looks like about 6000 years of work.

·        Electricity

·        Automobiles

·        Space Travel

·        Telephones

·        Photography

·        Television

Airplanes, and most importantly toilet paper.

It's all hanging on the toilet paper and I'm very happy to stand by the logic of toilet paper. After 200,000 years on this planet, I should have at least figured out how to fly or something by now. I still can’t fly.

So, until you see me flying by your house, I'm sticking with the toilet paper.

This article was originally published on April 25, 2010.